Hello Tabulas.

I afraid there's a hole in my brain.

 

 

I feel like a failure. As I was cramming for my ochem midterm and decided to check webct, I noticed genetics midterm grades were up. I like, knew I failed because whenever I get that deep gut feeling of failure, my score really does end up horrible. And yet I still stupidly clicked the box open to look at my grade. Why? I don't really know. My score was lower than my first midterm, and this one was worth 50 points more than the first. How . . . geez. u_u

Sometimes I wonder why I'm wasting all my momma's money on some not so high end education because we can't afford anything better and this is as top notch as it gets.

And at times like these, I really hate myself for burdening myself even further because I still have so much more left to do before my ochem midterm. Why the hell am I blogging anyway? grr. I guess I really am that tired of studying. I ditched all my classes today by the way. Never have I done that. ugh.

 

 

 

I know that by posting these next few words, I'd probably be jinxing myself and I should await something horrible, but ahhh.

I wanna be an astronaut and get high, break the barriers of sound and soar into the sky. I just wanna be free from the confines of gravity.

 

but seriously! ahh

What happened? 

 

 

I'm not quite sure. I'm normally a very clean person. I remember vacuuming my house and cleaning up like every Friday just cus I liked it like that. And now I look at my side of the room . . my bed. It's an explosion.

 

 

Compare that with Sylvia's side of the room 

 

 

 

u_u

 

 

Oh yeah, ochem midterm was a butt. Wish I had started studying earlier. roarrr.

And genetics midterm was really really bad too. u_u

 

 

And oh! Marvyn and I are gonna go vegetarian for a week. I was seriously vegetarian since Saturday, but I broke it this morning when the cafeteria didn't have veggie patties left and I said whatever and had the real thing.

It can't be that horrible--only a little inconvenient cus finding veggie foods is like impossible. But we'll see how that goes :] 

Hello Tabulas.

It is 3:41 am, and I'm still up doing something dumb called physics lab.

I really hate it.

It seriously takes up my entire valuable nothingness Tuesday, when I could clearly be studying something else. roarrrrr 

 

 

Just felt like getting that out.  

 

Oh how amazing technology is!

 

 

So I barely learned how to do standard deviations and correlation coefficients on my graphing calculator yesterday, and oh my, it is so cooooool.

 

To think I've been inputting everything in the long way for the entire physics 2BL quarter.

geeeeeeeez. No wonder why it took me forever to finish my lab writeups.

Too bad I only learned how to do it like, on the day of the final so I couldn't put this awesome piece of technology to work earlier. I seriously always wondered why I bought a graphing calculator for college in the first place because I never used it. I survived AP calculus in high school without purchasing a lameo graphing calculator. I just used my sister's you know. And when she stole it back for her failing math classes, I borrowed one of my teacher's bazillion graphing calculators. And besides, I loved my little scientific calculator too much, even though now I secretly wish it were broken so I could by the updated version of it with the 4-line screen. Four lines!!!!! Gosh Texas Instruments, why do you have to do that to me?

And yet, for college, I was so intimidated by 20 series math that I got a lameo calculator -- even though we weren't allowed to use them anyway. So pointless having one right? I'd say so, but even though I have an ugly hugemongous graphing calculator that I never use, I now wish I had the clunkier 89 because you could do anything with it. I'd be amused forever considering how excited I was to learn how to do standard deviations and basic summations.

 

 

 

Anywho, on other notes, don't you love how when you first start doing something that is good for you, you are super excited about it and follow up on it every day, never breaking a rule. And then all of a sudden one day, you stop.

For example, I was super excited to get my retainers however many years ago and I was so good about wearing them. I even followed up on those ortho appointments to check up on those retainers. And after about 6 months, I got lazier and lazier and eventually stopped wearing them.

This is seriously just like me and Listerine. Actually, no, I don't use Listerine. Crest Pro-Health all the way. But seriously, I followed up on mouthwashing for like 3 weeks and then I stopped again.

 

And worst of all, this is exactly how I am with my fish-oil supplements. Maybe the only reason why I keep forgetting to take these pills is because they are huuuuuuuuuuge and I suck at swallowing pills. They just keep coming back up you know. roarrrr. And it hurts going down. But I was pretty good about it first quarter, and I think this quarter, I've only taken them a total of 4 times. So unhealthy to be inconsistent with these pills too. ://

 

Anywho, I guess it's time to do some physics homework. Amazing that I'm working early. heheheh

 

 

 

Oh, I just wanted to add a blurb because I probably won't have anywhere else to say it,

I think Marshall Semi-formal theme is hecka lameeeeeee. Havana Nights. wth is thatttt? I was looking forward to going, too, but boy, I'm not too sure about the theme. Sure I like the movie, but having it for a theme is dumb. I'm probably really biased about liking the movie, too, because I used to salsa. Like, I know the girl couldn't act for crap, but it was still fun to watch. Oh well. Maybe another college will have a better theme?

More blurbs.

blurbblurbblurb

 

 

My week-long reign of no meat is overrr. teehee. Helloooo food. :]

Now this is the time I'm supposed to reflect, but umm . . I really can't since I only did it for a week. lololol. It wasn't too bad, I was just really limited with options--like the spicyspicy pasta meal I had last night. Boy that thing sure knew how to burn my mouth off. Or I ate cereal a lot. whatever, right? I'm sure I could continue, but it's just a lot of work and I felt unhealthy since I ate a lot of junkfood to suffice.

 

Anywho.

 

My mommy's birddday is tomorrow. I love her so much and want to get her something pretty, like jewelery, but I know she'd never wear it. She just doesn't wear jewelery. :[ I saw the cutest silver locket bracelet, and I'm sure she'd wear it if my sister and my pictures are in it, but it's so big. my momma is teenytiny so cutting things down to size isn't really an option. So sad. Last year I remember getting some flowers for my mom on mother's day, and she replied, "Next time, don't get me flowers. Get me socks instead."

I know she really liked them, but telling me to get socks instead? So ugly. roar. She wears my socks anyway. I guess she's just too practical.

 

Shopping for my momma is like, worse than shopping for my silly roommate. Thank goodness I finally stumbled upon the cutest present that she'd actually use, not like a silly boobjob fund jar. :] 

Ahh so here's a third post for the day.

 

 

I am hecka upset.

Not only am I really PO'd by stupid Marvyn, but I also find out that my mommy is sick--like throwing up sick. And it's almost her birthday! I was gonna call her at midnight, but when I heard the horrible news, I had to call her earlier and all she could say was "I'm too dizzy" with the weakest fading voice.

I'm so worried. This makes me so upset.

 

 

Ahh I'm so mad.

I hate it when these feelings pile up.

 

Never do I ever actually feel like crying, especially in school, but I'm really worried and mad and my head only hurts more when I hold my feelings in. roarrr. ahh I'm so glad no one really reads this, or else they'll think I'm a freak or something.

 

I want to say bad words. :[[[ but i can't

 

 

 

so I'll say this. i love you mommy. hope you feel better. and happy almost birthday.

 

 

 

I feel like updating but I don't really know what to say.

Finals week is coming and here is what I've studied so far.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, that's right. Nothing. I've been trying to do genetics, but I hate the class so much that I never want to work on it. I've basically stopped going to lecture, too, because in the hour before my class, I try to podcast the previous class's lecture and realize how lame it is. Like seriously. Guest speaker? Watching a documentary? Why would I want to go to class for that when I know I'm going to fall asleep anyway. :[ I feel like a waste of money, but I really didn't think it was worth while. I never ditch class, either, so when I do, it must really be pointless.

I've also calculated my grade in physics and what I have to do to get a B because that's all I want. A solid B because B-'s are ugly. I figured that if I get a 26/40, I can get the grade I want. Not so bad, right? Actually, it is pretty bad because I really don't understand a thing. I wish I were a better guesser. I only got a 4/7 on my most recent quiz. I coulda totally had a 7/7 if I had convinced myself to guess the correct answer because I was seriously looking at those, too, but then I figured that since I was guessing anyway, I'd just put the first answer that came to mind. Lame.

I got sick right before finals. I hope it doesn't get worse due to my lack of sleep this following week. :B I really want to eat junk food though. Too bad I can't. roarr

And just for the record, I do not have a boyfriend. Did not obtain one recently and break up with him. oh my. Silly Alex was playing around with my facebook and changed my status without me knowing, and the responses to it are just overwhelming. Of course I changed my status back, but now people just think I was in the shortest relationship ever. u_u sillysilly. I will kick Alex's butt later.

No Country for Old Men seems hecka boring, so I will kick the next person who tries to get me to watch that movie.

Oh yeah, I think my steeyore is really photogenic. haha. I feel stupid saying that, but he really is. :] 

 

 

I am really cold. Jenny wants to keep the place cold, though, so my germs can't live. I try bundling up, live in blankets, but it doesn't really work. I know they're all cold, too, but what can I do. I want to close the windows and turn the heat up, but it's not allowed. so sad.

This weather sucks.  

Hello tabulasss. Not studying for physics again, but while I wasssss, I logged into facebook for a second and saw the dopiest picture tagged of me.











So that is what I used to look like in 8th grade. hahahaha. I look like a loser. Really scrawny, too, might I add. And my hair was really long. Marvyn says that it doesn't look a thing like me. It's probably because I got fatter. I ask everyone that but no one wants to agree with my reasoning when they all said that I looked like skin and bones back then and now I don't. Shouldn't that mean I got fatter? Well, I think so.




Anywho, I have no idea why that picture was even taken in the first place. I forgot who the girl sitting next to me was. I didn't really talk to them in 8th grade, and it's not like I do now.


hehe very interesting. Welll, I just thought this was funny so I had to post it. Back to cheatsheet making. u_u wish me luck tomorrow

I notice that I seem to post more frequently when I'm pressed for time and should be studying. hehehe

 

Anywho, so today after possibly failing my physics final, I came back and decided to try to work. But before starting to work, I had to clean off my bed and table and stuff, since it's just nicer to work in a clean environment, right? So anywho, as I was carrying stuff to throw into my closet, I walked into the wall smack inbetween sylvia and my closet, and well, I knew I had to nap.

 

Silly story. But anywho, Sylvia saw me starting to nap and decided to do the same -- outside though. Don't know why but it makes no difference. Anywho, apparently, as we were napping, some guy came into our apartment and into the room and left without saying a word or leaving any mark whatsoever. I'm sure he saw me sleeping because I normally don't sleep on that side of the bed. I'm sure he saw Sylvia sleeping, too. But still, it's kinda creepy, right? I'm really curious who it was. He didn't go into Jackiee's room because she had no visitors at the time. o_o; perhaps I should lock the door more often, huh?

hmm . . I didn't realize it was the middle of March already.

 

I logged into GaiaOnline after forgetting about it for a few weeks and was like, what, new donation items already? It's not even March 15 yet.

 

And then I was like oh shit, it is. Sylvia's birthday was the 16th.

 

My how time just passes by.  

Hello Tabulas.

 

I'm officially done with my finals, and I'm not sleepy. roarrrr. So I've probably gone about a week living off of say . . . 2-3 hours a night, and possibly less. My head hurts. My throat hurts like crazy. My eyes are bloodshot and on occasion get really blurry for no apparent reason, I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep.

 

This sucks.

 

 

 

Anywho, is it weird that every time I'm up super super super late studying, that I can't help but think, "what happens if as I'm walking to my final tomorrow, I get hit by a car?".

What the hell, right? Seriously. That goes through my head all of the time. And then after that thought, I'm just like, "wow, all that studying has gone to a waste". u_u

 

But it never happens. It's not like I want to get hit by a car but perhaps I just really don't want to take my exams. Silly excuse not to though, right?
Goodbye

awww teddy suicide 

So I was trying to teach myself how to play the piano and I just realized . . .  I can't, cus no matter how hard I practice, my hands are still gonna be too small to reach across an octad. I'm so sad.

 

How the hell are there these child prodigies who play like, the most beautiful songs with the piano when their hands can't even reach that far? cus I have nooooo idea. D:  

You're never ever ever ever gonna see it. =]

My dentist must love me.

Because they missed me sooooo much since the past, however long I've been to the dentist, I get to go back on Friday!

 

hooray hooray.

 

 

I really wish I could say that it was because I'm so awesome and they just wanted to see me again, but it's really because my dentist chipped a really old filling of mine and I gotta get it fixed. sadsad.  

's all good in the hood. I like my dentist anywho. And the assistants young and friendly. Always nice to talk to. :]

 

 

 

So when people start telling of their great, exciting and fun spring breaks, I can happily say, "Oh oh oh! I got a filling during my break! hoooooray"

and then of course I can add TB test to the list, too. My spring break is going great, what about yours?

I know that you know that I know you know, you know?